Faith, Culture and Addiction Recovery for Religious Families

For a religious family, the decision to send a loved one to rehab carries an extra worry on top of everything else. Will the people treating them respect our faith? Will they come home having drifted from the practices that hold their world together? What will our congregation, our mosque, our church or our shul think? Those questions are real, and they keep some families from reaching out for help at all.

South Africa is a country of many faiths. Christian, Muslim, Jewish, Hindu and traditional African belief all shape how families understand illness, shame, healing and responsibility. Addiction does not care which of these a family belongs to. This article looks at how faith and culture can help recovery rather than stand in its way, and what religious families can do when someone they love needs treatment.

Addiction is a health condition, not a failure of faith

One of the heaviest burdens religious families carry is the feeling that addiction is a moral or spiritual failure, a sign that someone has not prayed hard enough or believed enough. That belief does a great deal of harm. It keeps people hiding, and it keeps families from seeking medical help in time.

Addiction is a treatable health condition, not a failure of character. Treatment works best when a person feels safe enough to be honest, and that is very hard to do while carrying shame about who you are. The National Institute on Drug Abuse makes the point that no single treatment suits everyone, and that care needs to be matched to the whole person rather than to the substance alone. You can read more on its overview of addiction treatment. For a person of faith, “the whole person” includes what they believe.

Alan Freeman, founder of Freeman House Recovery, who is in recovery himself, describes how addiction usually creeps up on people: “It starts as fun, then it becomes fun with problems, and eventually it’s just problems.” That is true in a devout household as much as anywhere else. Nobody sets out to become addicted, and nobody stays addicted because their faith was too weak.

Stigma in close-knit communities

Faith communities tend to be close. People share meals, festivals, weddings and funerals, and they look out for one another. That closeness is a strength, but it can also make addiction harder to admit. Families worry about the family name, about a son’s or daughter’s marriage prospects, about being talked about after a service. Someone who drinks may hide it more carefully precisely because alcohol is frowned upon in their community.

The cost of that silence is that help often arrives late, after a crisis rather than before one. If you recognise this in your own family, it may help to know that the same pattern turns up in every community. You are not the first family to face this, and you won’t be the last.

Talking to your rabbi, imam, priest or minister

Religious leaders often know far more about the private struggles in their congregation than anyone realises. Many have walked alongside families through addiction before. Speaking to one can bring real comfort, and it can also bring practical help, from a trusted referral to someone to sit with a family while they plan the next step.

• Choose someone you trust. A leader who meets the subject with compassion is worth far more than one with a big title.
• Ask about confidentiality. It is fine to say plainly that you want the conversation kept private.
• Let faith support treatment, not replace it. Prayer and community are powerful, but withdrawal, especially from alcohol, can be medically dangerous and needs proper clinical care.
• Involve the leader in the long run, not just the crisis. Recovery continues for years, and a supportive spiritual community can be a big part of staying well.

How a 12-step programme sits alongside faith

Many people of faith are curious, and sometimes wary, about 12-step programmes because of their spiritual language. The steps talk about a power greater than ourselves, and about God as each person understands Him. That wording was chosen deliberately so that people of any religion, or none, could take part without being asked to give up what they already believe.

In practice, many religious people find the steps sit comfortably alongside their own tradition. Taking an honest inventory of yourself, admitting wrongs, making amends and helping others are ideas found in Christianity, Islam, Judaism, Hinduism and many other faiths. For some, recovery even becomes a way back to a faith they had drifted from. There is also a deeper thread in Jewish thought that we explore in our piece on addiction and recovery from a Jewish perspective, and our article on addiction in South Africa’s Jewish community looks at the practical side for Jewish families.

Alan’s own advice to people early in recovery fits most religious teaching too. Looking back, he says that if anything, he wishes someone had told him “to look outside myself and see whether I could be of use to somebody else.” Service to others is at the heart of the 12 steps, and of most faiths.

What inpatient treatment at Freeman House involves

Freeman House Recovery is a private inpatient rehab in Meerhof, Hartbeespoort, in the Magaliesberg mountain range, about an hour from Johannesburg and Pretoria. We admit adults aged 18 and over. Clients stay between 28 days and six months, and Alan recommends at least 35 days, ideally 35 days to three months, depending on each person’s needs, finances and life at home.

Medically assisted detox

Coming off alcohol or certain drugs can be dangerous to do alone, and withdrawal is one of the points where people are most at risk of giving up or coming to harm. At Freeman House a nurse admits each client, the doctor sees them and takes bloods within 24 hours, and the detox room is right next to the nurses’ station, so anyone detoxing is monitored 24/7.

Individual and group therapy

The bulk of the work happens in therapy. That includes one-on-one sessions, group work with others who understand what addiction does, and structured approaches such as cognitive behavioural therapy and dialectical behaviour therapy, along with trauma work. These are talking therapies that help a person notice the patterns driving their use and build steadier ways of coping. There is a maximum of five clients per senior clinician, so each person gets real individual time.

12-step work and psychiatric care

We follow the Minnesota model, so the programme is 12-step based, and residents work through the steps with the help of our recovery assistants. Alongside that, our doctor and a consulting psychiatrist help the team understand whether something like depression or anxiety is sitting underneath the addiction, which is common and important to treat together rather than separately.

Holistic support

Recovery is not only clinical. Gym every morning, yoga, art therapy and time in the quiet of the Magaliesberg all help someone reconnect with themselves. You can read more about this approach in our look at holistic addiction treatment, and about the structure of residential care on our inpatient treatment page.

Dignity, respect and no judgment

Clients come to Freeman House at all ages, from all races, all genders and many different faiths, because addiction doesn’t discriminate. We do not run separate religious programmes. What every client gets is the same ethos, which Alan built the house around: “love, respect, community, empathy and no judgment.” Most of our clinicians are in recovery themselves, so nobody on the team is looking down on anyone.

Mealtimes matter here too. The food is fresh, organic and nutritious, and the whole community sits down to eat together. As Alan puts it, addiction isolates us, and “the opposite of addiction is connection.” If a part of your religious life is important to you during a stay, mention it on the first call so you know exactly what to expect before you arrive.

Family has a part to play

Addiction is often called a family illness, because the people closest to someone struggling carry a great deal of it too. In a religious household the strain can run particularly deep, touching the whole community around a family. Bringing family into the recovery process, with honesty and support on both sides, tends to give the person a far stronger footing once they come home. We write about this in our article on the role of family support in addiction recovery.

At Freeman House, families are invited to an online family group every Tuesday at 18:30 South African time. It is free, and families can keep coming for as long as they like after their loved one leaves. Our family counsellor, Colleen, gives each family its own session every Friday, families are encouraged to write a collateral letter about how the addiction has affected them, and local families can visit on Saturdays between 12:00 and 14:00.

Frequently Asked Questions

Will treatment ask me to give up my faith?

No. The detox, therapy and medical care follow an evidence-based approach that works alongside any faith. The 12-step programme speaks of a higher power as each person understands it, so you are never asked to adopt someone else’s beliefs.

Does Freeman House treat people of every religion?

Yes. Freeman House welcomes adults of every faith, and none. Every client is treated with dignity, respect and empathy, and without judgment.

How long does inpatient treatment take?

Clients stay between 28 days and six months, with at least 35 days recommended. Recovery itself continues well beyond that. In the last week of treatment every client works through an aftercare and relapse prevention plan, and can keep seeing their Freeman House counsellor by Zoom, phone or WhatsApp.

Will medical aid cover it?

Most South African medical aids pay for all or part of treatment. GEMS pays for the full 28 days, and Discovery, Bonitas, Momentum and Medshield cover a portion. Our team handles the pre-authorisation for you. We explain more on whether medical aid covers rehab in South Africa.

Where can I find free help right now?

If you or someone you love needs support today, the South African Depression and Anxiety Group (SADAG) runs free helplines, and the Department of Social Development substance abuse line is reachable on 0800 12 13 14.

Reaching out

Asking for help is the hard part. Alan takes most first calls himself, and his advice to anyone unsure is to draw up a balance sheet: the pros and cons of staying in addiction, and the pros and cons of coming into treatment. “Most of the time I tell them they have nothing to lose and everything to gain.” It is normal to feel fearful and apprehensive.

The team at Freeman House is happy to talk it through, gently and without pressure. You can call +27 12 1111 739 or email [email protected] whenever you are ready.